Fears

collageWhat fears  (large or small) are lurking under the surface of your life and draining your energy?  Sometimes fears are like a drip in the background.  You can tune them out  but they’re really always there.

Could the thing you keep procrastinating around be holding you back in other areas of your life as well?  If you answered yes and you know what the fears are that are holding you back, why don’t you just put those activities first on your to do list and be done with it?

Well, it’s our fears. It sounds so simple and yet fears can be so deeply seated in our lives that we may have no idea how to even define them.  Frequently our fears were learned when we were young children.

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Making Yourself a Priority

Photoxpress_7851712 Cloudy SkyAre you always putting everyone else first in your life?  Our children are so important to us that we tend to put their needs first.  As our parents age, we then need to put them first.  During your marriage perhaps you were continuously putting your husband’s needs or career first.  Even the needs of the marriage itself may have taken priority over your needs. Continue reading

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Are You Having Fun?

 

Happy women at gymAre you having fun?  I’ve noticed among women healing from divorce or newly single that there is a definite lack of fun in their lives.  Having fun gives us emotional balance.  It refreshes us. It helps us to re-create ourselves.

The reasons fun may not be showing up in your life are obvious.  Stress and worry do not lead to fun.  Maybe you’ve had “couple” friends in the past and it’s hard to interact with them as a single woman.  Many of the friends who you had commonalities with as a married woman no longer share common concerns.  Continue reading

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Anger

Photoxpress_972953 Ocean WaveIs anger keeping you from thriving?  A divorce brings up all kinds of anger.  Anger with your former spouse.  Anger about the loss of the dream which you had for your marriage and life.  Anger about the situation you are in right now.  Anger about feeling unable to control your own life.  Anger about your financial situation.  Anger about how all this is affecting your children.  Anger at the insensitivity of the world around you.

Anger can be like a huge destructive wave that is  overpowering your life.  Continue reading

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Getting Back on Track

TreehuggerWe’ve all been there.  We set a goal or make a plan and feel like we’ve hit stride. Things seem to be moving forward nicely.  Then one day we wake up and realize that we’ve gotten sidetracked.  The motivation has slipped.  Life details have gotten in the way.  Something out of the ordinary came up and we just broke stride.

When we are in the process of working through our divorce, setbacks sometimes feel much bigger than they might at another time in our lives.  It can even feel like there’s no way to get back on track.  Continue reading

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Victimhood or Responsibility??

FootprintsOne of the most difficult challenges I faced in moving forward after divorce was moving out of a victim mindset.  The general approach to life in our society is that the experiences of our past create our future.  If we have experienced being a victim in our past, it seems that life is “doing” this to us.

Just as the woman walking in the sand leaves her footprints behind, so can we leave our past behind.  Does she have to continue on that path?  Do the footprints behind her determine her future course?  What if she just decides to turn to the right or the left?  If so, she will be changing her course and will no longer be following the path seemingly laid out by her footprints.

I learned this great truth from Bill Harris.  It was hard to understand at first.  Continue reading

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The Stuff That Keeps You Stuck – Growth

Photoxpress_7377199 sunstarIn other blogs in this series, I’ve talked about the various places you may have clutter.  But today, I want to focus on the bigger picture.  Most people don’t realize the impact that clutter has on their lives.

What if the stuff you can’t let go of, is preventing you from moving forward?  What if it is locking you into staying right where you are in your life?  What if cleaning out a closet could mean more to your life than you could ever imagine? Continue reading

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The Stuff That Keeps You Stuck – Disorganization

(This is the third post in a series on clutter.)

Netbook Most of us have a battle with our clutter.  We clear a bit and then it just reappears – as if by magic.  So why can’t we win the battle?  There are many reasons.

One reason is disorganization.  Sometimes the problem with clutter is that we haven’t defined a system to deal with it so it just piles up.

We all know the areas where disorganization exists in our lives.  The challenge is that it wastes time, creates stress and generally drains our energy. Continue reading

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The Stuff That Keeps You Stuck – Fear

image (This is the second in a series  of posts on clutter.)

Most of us have a battle with our clutter.  We clear a bit and then it just reappears – as if by magic.  So why can’t we win the battle?  There are many reasons.

I believe the biggest reason is fear.  Fear that we might need that stuff tomorrow or next week or next year or…  This is particularly difficult when your life is in transition.  You truly cannot predict what you’re going to need in the future.  Continue reading

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The Stuff That Keeps You Stuck – Sentimentality

Girl's toys You know that stack of stuff or that closet or drawer or storage room or garage or whatever that just sits there sucking away your energy?  You know which one I’m talking about.  You avoid that part of your life.   You look the other way.   You make excuses to yourself.  But it just doesn’t go away.

Most of us have a battle with our clutter.  We clear a bit and then it just reappears – as if by magic.  So why can’t we win the battle?  There are many reasons. Continue reading

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